ROLF HARRIS

If you turn a smiling face on the world, you've got a chance of finishing up a good-looking old person.

I will never shave off my beard and moustache. I did once, for charity, but my wife said, 'Good grief, how awful, you look like an American car with all the chrome removed.'

As I walked up the imposing steps of the Royal Academy, I came fact to face with Alwen Hughes. She looked just as stunning as she had done in my first year at art school.

When I draw my caricature self-portrait, I always do a huge smile.

I was always different from all the other kids, and I was doing things that nobody else did or seemed to have any interest in.

I had always been told by my parents, not implicitly told, but every inference was that Britain was the hub of the universe.

When I was presenting 'Animal Hospital,' the grey started to creep into my beard and moustache. I used my wife's mascara to darken it.

I remember very vividly what it's like to be a child. The adults you liked were the ones who listened to you when you spoke and gave you time to say what you wanted to say and actually listened, and quite often reacted as a result of what you'd said.

I was being singled out as the best in the class at this, that and the other, nearly always to do with art. And then I was a very good swimmer from a very early age, and once again the best in the class, and when I was about five or six, I was the best in the school.

People say 'Are you going to retire?' To me, that sort of equates with lying down and dying. When you're doing something you love to do, why would you stop?

If I could go back in time, I'd return to when my parents were alive and appreciate them more than I did when I was growing up.

I regard myself as being enormously lucky to have been accepted by the British public in so many areas.

I love the word 'fantastic'. It represents how I always feel.

It's important to seize the moment. If there's something you want to say, don't put it off, because you might miss your chance.

It's essential that you make eye contact with your audience. You've got to know what's happening out there.

I always felt I had to fill silences, usually by singing or whistling. It was nerves and shyness, really.

Prison is no hardship, really. I'm in the art room as an assistant to the tutor, and basically, I'm doing what I like.

My approach to painting doesn't involve any heavy thinking about how am I going to present this, what am I going to do.

I hope that maybe I am on this planet to try and spread a bit of love and affection and to try and help people to warm toward their fellow man instead of all this destruction and misery.

People can see you on TV sloshing paint around with big four-inch brushes, and I learned to talk to camera in a friendly voice, not talking down to people, just explaining what I was doing. People like Picasso, Van Gogh, and Rembrandt did not have a weekly TV programme where people could see them painting.

Bob Marley - yeah, I've always loved his stuff.

The Avalanches was a great dance track, I thought, but I always feel a little bit let down when there are just two lines repeated constantly. Over and over. Forever.

I draw the line at filth and crude language. It seems to be an excuse for not being funny.

I've always tried to retain that childlike wonder.

George Martin recorded a lot of my stuff before the Beatles, so I observed their meteoric rise.