PETER KAY

I never settled because I wasn't meant to pack toilet rolls or stack shelves.

I don't really see the point in offensive comedy.

Sometimes I wish I could clone myself, you know, be in two places at once.

I'd always wanted to do a children's series.

I believe that a man called Jesus did walk the earth at one time but I don't think he was the superhero that the Bible makes him out to be.

I loved making it but when I saw it, I thought, 'Oh my God. I'm a big green lizard running around Cardiff? Is that it?' It's nice to have been in 'Doctor Who' but that is regarded by fans as the worst episode ever.

I believe in a God of some kind, in some sort of higher being. Personally I find it very comforting.

If I am popular across the board, from teenagers to pensioners, it's not because I'm trying to be family-orientated, it's because my mum vets all my shows! I always get a critique from her and she's very harsh.

For me, whatever happens there's nothing better than family.

My entire act is through and through British. I reference everything British.

I knew I could make people laugh but I was frightened of doing it. I thought, 'What if I'm crap, what if I'm no good at it?', but I knew I should have a go and shouldn't sit inside watching other people do it on television.

Do I miss him? Of course I do. Every day. His death was devastating, he was just 51. But you know, in my stand-up my Dad will always be alive. He's so much part of my act.

I can only write about what I know, I'd be crap anywhere else.

My mum can't watch 'Car Share' - well she does, but she says, 'Peter I can't enjoy it because you're not watching the road.'

I've met so many older actors and comedians who've told me they wished they'd spent as much time with their kids as they did chasing the money. You've got to draw a line but it's a gamble.

The truth is my dad was a lovely man who had to retire early from his job as an engineer because he had osteoporosis. It meant he was forced to wear a harness and could hardly breathe.

People often ask what I think of Michael McIntyre. I think he's funny. He's a nice bloke.

I could probably make another series of 'Phoenix Nights' or 'Max And Paddy,' but that would just feel like a safe bet.

I keep my cuttings for when I'm back on the bins. I believe that it's not going to last. At least I will be able to say, 'I lived.'

Sometimes people say, 'Oh I'm surprised you'd be in Staples buying a plastic box, I thought you'd have a servant to do that for you.' I'm like, 'What are you talking about? I still go to Tesco, I still do my big shop.'

I am fascinated by real people who are really funny.

Oh God love Susan Boyle. God love 'er. I've nothing more to say about Susan, except God love 'er and God bless 'er.

A lot of series tend to go on for one series too many, especially with comedies, and I think people say 'ooh, it's gone off, that.'

What a joy to be working on the second series of 'Car Share' with the wonderful Sian Gibson. The success of the first series has been completely overwhelming.

Bernard Manning is controversial but he had incredible timing. I wrote the character of Brian Potter in 'Phoenix Nights' for him to play but unfortunately he was too poorly to do it. I thought it would have been perfect casting but it didn't happen.