MOON UNIT ZAPPA

I'm totally convinced I can write the perfect pop song.

I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad.

My mother tells this story that when I first went to school, I thought I was going to help the teachers. I didn't realise I was going to get educated.

Your own experience keeps taking you towards something. My book adds the hope that it's a better something.

I don't want to lose my name because that's how I know myself. There is a legacy here.

We had two rules growing up in my house: If you're going to take a shower, do it with whomever you're dating so you don't waste water; and if you buy one for yourself, buy six, because everybody's going to want one.

The idea of licking stamps seemed great fun for me.

I had a friend whose family had dinner together. The mother would tuck you in at night and make breakfast in the morning. They even had a spare bike for a friend. It just seemed so amazing to me.

It occurred to me, when I was old enough to make rules of my own, that they should be fair and simple.

I made enough money to buy a house. That's crazy, but fame proved ephemeral.

Not many people know what their parents sound like having sex. It was noisy.

My Dad was so open creatively that I was off in search of black turtleneck bathing suits with long sleeves.

I would think: Stay close to the implants! They must know something because they keep getting asked backstage!

I should just drive around this city and take photos of all the buildings I've been humiliated in.

My mother did literally hitchhike barefoot to the country store.

I spent most of my life locked in my bedroom, miserable about my raging acne.

If there's anything more mortifying than being famous at 14, it's being washed up right after.

Gag me with a spoon!

I like to think of myself as a New Yorker, which is pathetic.

How strange, when your father's wearing women's clothes and platform shoes, that a pair of loafers looks incredible.

I peaked early. I was told I'd missed my boat.

Every job I've ever gotten has been an accident. All the jobs I actually go after, I don't get.

I've got a new relationship and I'm trapped in this old life.

I have a tree man coming to trim the jacaranda in my front garden.

I didn't have any concept of age or authority. I remember realising, Oh, the world has rules and we don't.