MICHAEL FLANDERS

If God had intended us to fly, he’d never have given us the railways.

Eating people is wrong

In July the Sun is hot. Is it shining? No, it's not!

January brings the snow / Makes your feet and fingers glow / February's ice and sleet / Freeze the toes right off your feet / Welcome March with wintry wind / Would thou wer't not so unkind / April brings the sweet spring showers / On and on for hours and hours.

The English, the English, The English are best: So Up with the English and Down with the Rest!

Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not.

One of the great problems of the world today is undoubtedly this problem of not being able to talk to scientists, because we don't understand science; they can't talk to us because they don't understand anything else, poor dears.

A Bradypus or Sloth am I, / I live a life of ease, / Contented not to do or die / But idle as I please.

The purpose of satire has been rightly stated as to strip off the veneer of comforting illusion and cosy half truth, and our job, as I see it, is to put it back again!

The purpose of satire has been rightly stated as to strip off the veneer of comforting illusion and cosy half truth, and our job, as I see it, is to put it back again!

One of the great problems of the world today is undoubtedly this problem of not being able to talk to scientists, because we don't understand science; they can't talk to us because they don't understand anything else, poor dears.

Eating people is wrong

If God had intended us to fly, he’d never have given us the railways.

A Bradypus or Sloth am I, / I live a life of ease, / Contented not to do or die / But idle as I please.

In July the Sun is hot. Is it shining? No, it's not!

January brings the snow / Makes your feet and fingers glow / February's ice and sleet / Freeze the toes right off your feet / Welcome March with wintry wind / Would thou wer't not so unkind / April brings the sweet spring showers / On and on for hours and hours.

The English, the English, The English are best: So Up with the English and Down with the Rest!

Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not.