MARTIN SHORT

What I learned, a little too late, was that the 'traditional' Martin Short target viewer weighs under 300 pounds. Unfortunately, I was on during daytime.

Someone once asked me what was the weirdest question I was ever asked. And I was stymied.

What's great about being a character actor is you know that you can survive forever. It's not about the gloss of your eyebrows.

I think loss can fuel how you lead your whole life.

You try to figure out things to keep yourself interested. It's very easy to get lulled.

Being the youngest of five, you're adored, you're fueled with confidence.

I've never done an improvised movie as a fictitious character. I think that's the challenge.

I have sometimes imagined my own death and brought myself to tears.

I know if I were to drop dead now, people would probably write nice things in the obit.

Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes.

I've done lots of improv things but not a whole movie.

All these things that enter your head are assignments. You write them up and then throw them out there and if someone wants to do it, your assignment is done.

No one is any one thing.

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.

One of my great influences was Don Knotts as Barney Fife.

You go through publicists because it's easy for a publicist to say to another publicist, 'No'.

People do think I'm Jewish. But we're Irish Catholic. My father had a brogue.

David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late '80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He's a very cool, hip guy. This film, let's face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he'd find it funny.

I hate to lull the audience into letting them think that something is something. It's always fun to defy expectations.

My mother was the concert master of the symphony. Absurdity and eccentricity were not criticized.

I have a kind of objective luxury about my career.

I pretend I'm one of the royal family when I'm in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me - it is a palace.

All you're trying to do in an improvisation is get as much material as possible for the editing room.

I've chosen to treat my life more like a party than something to stress about.

My job is not to analyze my career. But I am proud of the amount of work I've done and the amount of commitment I've given to it. That makes me proud.