JEFF SMITH

I prefer the Chinese method of eating. You can do anything at the table except arm wrestle.

It's good to do something for Americans for once.

Please understand the reason why Chinese vegetables taste so good. It is simple. The Chinese do not cook them, they just threaten them!

Phoney: Here's your problem Fone Bone! We're off the map! Get a bigger map!

Stupid, Stupid Rat Creatures!

All kids draw some kind of cartoon characters. They just grow out of them, and I didn't

I don't go for the nouvelle approach - serving a rabbit rump with coffee extract sauce and a slice of kiwi fruit.

That's right, kid. Never play an ace if a two will do.

The 20-G Centrifuge is our largest facility certified for use by humans. Its capabilities make it a unique NASA resource and a very versatile research tool that is ideal for developing health-maintenance activities for astronauts.

I'm 40 years old, and I still love watching Bugs Bunny slap the bull on the nose. I still watch those cartoons, and yet I also enjoy reading books about science, or the current fiction.

Feasting is also closely related to memory. We eat certain things in a particular way in order to remember who we are. Why else would you eat grits in Madison, New Jersey?

I never graduated, but I was kind of floating between journalism and art, because neither one wanted to claim me, as a cartoonist.

Scallops are expensive, so they should be treated with some class. But then, I suppose that every creature that gives his life for our table should be treated with class.

Smiley Bone: You can't feel safe unless there's something to be safe against! Phoney Bone: Exactly! People like to be victims! There's a certain unassailable moral superiority about it.

CONTROL MYSELF?!! I'm a MONSTER! Monsters don't control themselves! That's the whole IDEA!

Most seafoods should be simply threatened with heat and then celebrated with joy.

Upon your feet you have ten toes, they look just like PO-TA-TOES!

Prisoners learn how to make do with less, and many of them want to take this ingenuity that they've learned to the outside ... but there's no training, nothing to prepare them for that.

Serve this dish with much too much wine for your guests, along with some cooked green vegetables and a huge salad. You will be famous in about half an hour.

Omit and substitute! That's how recipes should be written. Please don't ever get so hung up on published recipes that you forget that you can omit and substitute.

Prepared and fast foods have given us the time and freedom to see cooking as an art form - a form of creative expression.

Walt Kelly was much more interested in allegory and politics, and I'm much more interested in metaphors and myth.

Slaves were taught to be fine chefs, but they endangered their lives if they made a mistake or served an ill-prepared dish. Rather than being reprimanded, they were often hauled into the dining room and flogged in the presence of the guests.

I think the audience is truly all ages: I don't put anything in there that kids can't see, or shouldn't see, but I have to keep it interesting for me as an adult

The squid is so cooperative. Its body forms a tube that can be stuffed with marvelous fillings. You don't have to be Greek to enjoy this one.