DEREK WATERS

I do partake in a couple of drinks now and again, but I've never drank to feel alive.

I like discovering stories where I'm laughing and I'm learning. It's like, 'How was I never taught that in school?'

If life is too short, get off the floor at the hotel bar. How can you go big if you're on the floor? I don't understand it.

People are proud to be from Baltimore. In any industry you work in, you need support to survive. And this city has that support for anyone who was born here or lived here. And it also gives you the feeling, 'Oh, I stand for this place. And if I do something I'm not proud of, I might not make my town proud.' And I want to make Baltimore proud.

My dream is to be able to make something in Baltimore that's just there. Make a movie or make a show there. I only left because there wasn't any opportunity except being an extra in Barry Levinson or John Waters movies.

I don't want to be labeled one thing. My main thing I care about is being able to create the things I want to do with my friends, whatever platform that is.

When you upload a picture of your delicious Caesar salad to Instagram, you don't realize that what you're doing is leaving a tiny little footprint that will be there forever. This seems to be a human impulse.

If you're younger, you shouldn't be spending all your cash at a bar.

When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was to be a musician. I lost everything I had, but I just knew that someday I'd be able to tell the world to 'go big or go home.' The world needs to know.

I'm a comedy snob, and I never want anything that I do to get old.

People are proud to be from Baltimore. In any industry you work in, you need support to survive. And this city has that support for anyone who was born here or lived here. And it also gives you the feeling, 'Oh, I stand for this place. And if I do something I'm not proud of, I might not make my town proud.' And I want to make Baltimore proud.

I don't want to be labeled one thing. My main thing I care about is being able to create the things I want to do with my friends, whatever platform that is.

I love stories, and as I got older, I realized how important what happened yesterday is to how you try to make your present better.

I'm a comedy snob, and I never want anything that I do to get old.

My dream is to be able to make something in Baltimore that's just there. Make a movie or make a show there. I only left because there wasn't any opportunity except being an extra in Barry Levinson or John Waters movies.

I like discovering stories where I'm laughing and I'm learning. It's like, 'How was I never taught that in school?'

If you're younger, you shouldn't be spending all your cash at a bar.

I think if there's anything that can help fat kids get out of the house and anybody to move, it's a positive thing.

You know when you're doing something right and when you're doing something wrong. As long as you feel like you're doing something right, and you're getting rewarded, then you're successful. But, if you're judging it on, Well, if I had that, I'd be successful - that doesn't work. I think doing what you love is success. Pretty cheesy. But it's true.

With any video you see online, like with YouTube, you gotta watch an ad, and that's gotta stop. And I think it'll stop by...the shitty network shows they put out will just have the ads in the shows. The characters will be eating Cheetos or whatever.

I get upset when people say Americans are stupid.

People have been sharing pictures of their food for as long as there's been caves.

I think there's gonna be three networks, and then the rest will be Internet-based, and Amazon is gonna be huge and one of the networks. This is so serious. Ha. But really, you see it happening right now. You can see the shifts.

You don't need money to go big.

The more difficult question for me is, do you remain successful for what you had done? I don't know. I think success is in your own eyes. But, I don't really want to ever feel like I've achieved success. Because then I'd be spoiled. I want to feel like I need to keep doing more. Maybe I get "content," "settled," and "success" confused. I never want to settle, but I would love to be content.

If life is too short, get off the floor at the hotel bar. How can you go big if you're on the floor? I don't understand it.

There are so many songs that I hate.

People need to be happy, and if a song makes them happy, that's cool.

I do partake in a couple of drinks now and again, but I've never drank to feel alive.

When you upload a picture of your delicious Caesar salad to Instagram, you don't realize that what you're doing is leaving a tiny little footprint that will be there forever. This seems to be a human impulse.

When you see a picture of a woolly mammoth on a cave wall, that's weirdly similar to a person's lasagna that they thought looked delicious.

Just because you "liked" my picture, doesn't mean you shouldn't call me and ask me how I'm doing. You know what's funny? If you ever owe someone a call, and it's something you're trying to avoid, notice how many times they "like" your photos until you call them back. It's an alarm, and people abuse that. They know you can see that. They know you'll see their name.

When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was to be a musician. I lost everything I had, but I just knew that someday I'd be able to tell the world to 'go big or go home.' The world needs to know.

One of the biggest problems with the Internet: people thinking they know something or are participating in or experiencing something when they aren't. Or, how people think they are staying in touch with their friends by "liking" their pictures.