BUZZ OSBORNE

Stupidity knows no bounds and certainly no city limits, but by and large, 99 percent of the people who come to Melvins shows seem to be relatively well behaved... I'm happy and relieved by this.

I'm not interested in constructive criticism, believe me.

If you take a band like Nirvana, their biggest hits are structurally the same as even a hair metal band's biggest hits. The structure's not different - the attitude was different. Except it really wasn't. It seemed a little more human.

The band that changed my life was The Who. It's hard to pick just one album, but if I had to pick the one that really showed me how things could be done, it's 'The Who Sell Out.' They really went to town on that, doing something that no one had ever done before.

To me, everything outside of Los Angeles is the 'south,' including places like San Diego. It's sort of like the saying, 'Everything is God.' Indeed it is.

I've liked country music for forever. And Buck Owens is just one of many country guitarists I like. I think Buck's Sixties records are really progressive.

I conquered my stage fright a long time ago. In my line of work, it's kind of a pre-requisite that you not feel bad about looking stupid in front of a lot of people.

If two wrongs don't make a right, then what do three wrongs make? What about four?

I can't think of any punk who's put on an acoustic and hasn't just tried to sound like James Taylor.

One of my main problems with music is that the basic formula is always the same: verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, verse, chorus, chorus, chorus, end. One of the bands that changed that was The Beatles. If you listen to 'Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey.' It's three verses, bridge, end.

Now I have never met a group of people who hate music more than professional roadies, and it is clearly obvious that 99.9 percent of them know nothing at all about music. Nothing. I find this to be quite strange, really. It's like someone who works in a bakery knowing nothing about baking.

I don't want to stay underground for just the cool people.

To me, traveling by bus is like climbing into a closet and watching 'Das Boot.'

I've always had the idea that multi-millionaire rock stars should work harder than anyone because they have the ability to do it. Look at an artist like Andy Warhol. He never stopped working, even after he didn't need to work again.

Not one person from the music world has ever come with - as if I could get a rock'n'roller up at four in the morning to play golf - but that's fine. I have way too much going on to sit around waiting for tee time at two in the afternoon.

I've been a list maker for years, even before I was a musician. I was always writing things down and kept long lists of things that would make good album titles and things like that. I'm constantly thinking in terms of songwriting.

I would love to sell millions of records, but that's never gonna be the case.

I never solicited a major label and I certainly wouldn't now.

I never wanted to be part of any scene, I never wanted to be a part of anything, I wanted to do my own thing. Those are the lessons I learned from punk rock.

If I'm listening to country, it's Hank Williams, George Jones, Merle Haggard and stuff like that. If people out there don't take that stuff seriously, well, they just haven't listened to it and don't know what they're talking about.

The best part of touring is playing the shows. I mean, that is the point of touring, at least for me. I have been blessed in that I've always gotten to play with other good musicians.

I can't go into Oklahoma without thinking about Larry Clark's photography book 'Tulsa.' It's a great book about how life works.

The Rolling Stones were one of the best bands ever, and 'Sticky Fingers' is one of the best rock albums I've ever heard.

I've always been a huge Butthole Surfers fan. The first time I saw them was in the early '80s when all they had out was their first EP. I thought they were amazing. They've always been a huge influence and one of my all-time favorite bands.

By and large musicians are pretty lazy; they don't do a whole lot. They're usually very busy doing nothing.