ALICE ROOSEVELT LONGWORTH

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay.

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

You can't make a souffle rise twice.

I would rather vote for Hitler.

Woman suffrage has made little difference beyond doubling the number of voters. There is no woman’s vote as such. They divide up just about as men do.

He [Calvin Coolidge] looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

How did they know?.

He [Dewey] looks like the little man on the wedding cake.

[On Washington, D.C.:] a town of successful men and the women they married before they were successful.

[Remark about Calvin Coolidge she says was erroneously attributed to her:] I do wish he did not look as if he had been weaned on a pickle.

I valued my independence from an early age and was always something of a individualist … Well, a show-off anyway.

People in Washington seem as hypnotized by precedence as though they were hens with their beaks on a chalk line.

Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.

I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.

My specialty is detached malevolence.

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.

He sprang from the grass roots of the country clubs of America.