ABE LEMONS

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.

It was a hole in one contest and I had a three.

I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick.

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.

One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.

We did have three go to the YMCA.

There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.

I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick.

You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him 'Doctor.'

I don't have any tricky plays, I'd rather have tricky players.

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.

Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.

It was a hole in one contest and I had a three.

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.

I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?

You mean in the state?

Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.

If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, 'It wasn't in the rules.'

You always catch the wrong players.

I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.

We did have three go to the YMCA.