Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and something called relationships.
I've dodged so many bullets. Not just because of unsafe sex, but because of the amount of drugs I did, the amount of alcohol, the amount of work I was doing. I started the Elton John AIDS Foundation because I got so lucky.
Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.
Sex is a pleasurable exercise in plumbing, but be careful or you'll get yeast in your drain tap.
Young kids are taking Viagra, ecstasy. They even want instant sex.
Herpes, AIDS, the Middle East at full throttle. Better check that sausage before you put it in the waffle.
My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
I'm sexing raw dog without protection.
What kind of guy goes to every city, has sex with every girl, then he goes and catches HIV.
When I hear a girl has had two babies by the age of 16, I think two things: Is she called Chardonnay, and what is she doing with her life?
I can't tell the difference between the best and the worst 'cause I realize not everybody wants to have sex in the middle of a demolition derby race in the car.
condoms are about as effective against AIDS as a twenty-four-chamber gun instead of a six-chamber gun when playing Russian roulette.
I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.
The danger in promiscuity is that it's always barking at your heels.
We weren't trying, but we were definitely practicing - and not safely practicing.
Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
