When I look at my life and its secret colors, I feel like bursting into tears.
Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away.
In secret pleasure — secret tears This changeful life has slipped away
I never told my love vocally still.
Just like Lara Jean in my book 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before,' I used to write letters to boys I was in love with - letters full of emotion and longing and also recrimination - but they were for my eyes only.
Sometimes we get sad about things and we don't like to tell other people that we are sad about them. We like to keep it a secret. Or sometimes, we are sad but we really don't know why we are sad, so we say we aren't sad but we really are.
It had to be one of the weirdest things in the universe that Lissa had never come close to suspecting my feelings for Dimitri but that Adrian had figured it out.