For a year, I was the world's worst assistant to a talent manager. I was awful at it. Really disorganized. Just not the person you want at the front desk of your office.
I've told stories about people coming to my office and giving me their coats and requesting that I hang them up and get coffee - which I dutifully do. And then I come in and sit at the head of the table. It's awkward.
If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
I don't party with my colleagues after work.
When I first joined Google in October of 2005, I was warned that I shouldn't be offended if people were doing their e-mails while a meeting was going on.
Never, ever, ever show up to your office holiday party on time.
There was a policy at Hughes against drinking at lunch, but the men ignored it.
I have a couple of basses in my office. And I try to be courteous of my co-workers, but sometimes I get carried away and I crank up my amp and I rock out. It's kind of my stress reliever.
When you come to work you're expected to be professional.
Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.
A German shepherd dog could walk in the office with a script in his mouth, and if that script was really good, they'd buy the script.
I was still working at Google when I wrote the blog post '10 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings.' I was scared to share it at first because I didn't want my coworkers to think that I was making fun of them - which I totally was. But then afterward I had people coming up to me like, 'I have a meeting trick! Put my meeting trick in your next post!'
I think most working relationships could benefit by excluding personal matters from the office chatter.
Over the last couple of decades, the personalization of the office changed dramatically... there's an informality people often take for the absence of rules - which it's not.
I have high heels in my bags if I need them for a shoot. But I like sneakers. I like being comfortable. I like to sit on the floor with my team and work. I don't like to sit in fancy chairs. It's really important to the culture of my company that people understand who they're working for.
Nothing gets on other people's nerves at the office more than a whistler. And the sad part is, these whistlers don't know they're doing it. Someone should, tactfully, tell the whistler how much it disrupts the office environment.
Unless you are a lawyer or Fortune 500 CEO, carrying a briefcase is, well, nerdy.
Just as you would not permit a fellow employee to steal a piece of office equipment, you shouldn't let anyone walk away with the time of his fellow managers.
The emergence of Casual Fridays has created a fine line of fashion ion dos and don'ts.
No one in my writers' room can wear sweatpants.
America is incredibly professional and corporate.
When the typewriter stops in a New York office everybody's embarrassed; men start to quarrel or to make love to the stenographer or drop lighted cigarettes in the wastebasket.
I would love to employ a man, but how can I possibly give a man dictation from the bath?
Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!
Another important rule of affair-having: Never be discreet at the office.
