I lay my head on the wheel and the horn begins honking, the whole neighborhood knows that I'm home drunk again.
If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
There is a patience that cackles. There are a great many virtues that are hen-like. They are virtue, to be sure; but everybody in the neighborhood has to know about them.
One thing that has saved my bacon many times is talking to the neighbor about the property. Neighbors are so transparent and honest, they will give you the entire down-low on the property.
I opted for the rear door, both as a courtesy and so she couldn't freak out about me showing up on her front doorstep for all of East Falls to see. Being the village pariah does make social calls most trying. -Paige
About a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek and one of them ended up in an abandoned refrigerator. It's all anybody talked about for weeks. I said, 'Who cares? How many kids you know get to die a winner?
I tell myself that's what you get when you put thirty-one toilets on the most popular girl's front yard. People tend to treat you a little differently than before.
When ill news comes too late to be serviceable to your neighbor, keep it to yourself.
