Low Attendance Quotes

I remember my England debut, in 2002. It came in Jersey, in a triangular tournament with New Zealand and India. To say that it did not generate great local interest is putting it mildly: our first game, against India, attracted a handful of spectators.

The best time to go to Disney World, if you want to avoid huge crowds, is 1962.

Certainly toward the end of the season, you and I could be in a ballpark and they might say the crowd is 30,000, and we could look around and see that there was no more than 10,000.

I remember a Q&A I did in Wales where there were five people in the auditorium.

If my music career was my golf game, I'd be playing for about 26 people tonight somewhere.

In New York the other day, there was a pro-Martha Stewart rally. Only four people showed up ... and three of them were made out of crepe paper!

I wrestled Tyler Breeze one time when there was, like, 20 people at the show.

Unless you are Stephen King, a book signing is attended by maybe 40 or 50 people.

You know, often films that are deemed positive, nobody wants to see them.

I think it would be great to make a $2 million or $3 million art movie where nobody would really have to go to it. I thought that would be a good project to work on . . . do something really artistic.

I've played in some pretty weird settings; busking puts you in all kinds of situations. I can tell you the most depressing gig I've played was in the North of England. At that time, I was playing with a band. We drove 7 or 8 hours to Carlisle to play a 600 - 700 capacity venue - 9 people showed up.

My attendance in school was 30 per cent. I was always travelling with my parents.

I made a film where nobody got shot and nobody went to see it.

After a month or so in St. Louis, we were looking around desperately for a way to draw a few people into the ball park, it being perfectly clear by that time that the ball club wasn't going to do it unaided.

With 'Puddle Cruiser,' the first 15 minutes are the weakest. When you're total unknowns and you have a weak opening, it's a real problem. At some screenings, we'd see the odd walkout before the movie even got going. But to counteract that, we'd do sketches before the show to introduce the film.

We've played in places where there were more of us onstage than in the audience.

When you say 'failure,' that seems really dramatic, but a lot of failure is just really depressing and mundane. I remember the first time I ever played a concert in Italy. I played a venue that held 900 people, and I think five people showed up. It wasn't a big, 'John Carter of Mars' type failure. It wasn't dramatic; it was just depressing.

Early on with Squeeze, we played the Hope & Anchor with U2. Three people turned up. Then two left. Then the last person left. That's the least-attended show I've ever done.

One springs to mind: one of our very first gigs in a small East Texas town was not well promoted. At least, that was our conclusion. After the band loaded in and the curtain opened, we realized there was exactly one paying customer in the audience. We kind of made the best of it playing through the first set, took a break and bought him a Coke and then went on to perform for the remainder of the night. It wasn't exactly a catastrophe but it certainly stands as legendary.

In Portugal, there are just four or five teams who have 30,000 fans in their stadium, but teams in the middle of the table don't have many fans.

I remember when 'The Right Stuff' opened in Hollywood. I got dressed that morning and drove my car down to the theatre that it was playing on, thinking that there would be mobs of people outside. When I looked, there was nobody there.