Humorous Remarks Quotes

One of my most often repeated quips was the one I made when former Presidents Carter, Ford and Nixon stood by each other at a White House event. 'There they are,' I said. 'See no evil, hear no evil, and . . . evil.'

I do not have a sense of humor of any recognizable sort.

I got all sorts of great Nebraska jokes.

No one will ever accuse James Carville of taking himself seriously.

I just happen to be a sucker for humor. So anywhere I can sneak in something that I find potentially interesting or funny I do it as much as I can get away with.

Yes, my mom does keep making references to marriage, like all mothers do, but it's only in a lighter mood... she just jokes.

I do believe that on a whole, women are definitely smarter than men... I also believe that dogs are smarter than women. No? That one, you don't believe it? You believe that I didn't do a series of tests? You are right to not believe it, because I'm going to go ahead and admit that I do not believe what I just said, it was what's described as a 'joke.' Um, I'll be telling a bunch of them here tonight.

I'm not naive and realise it doesn't make good commentary or sell newspapers if you only say nice things, and the time does come when you have to say someone isn't good enough and has to go. But commentators like Richie Benaud have shown that criticism can be made in a constructive or humorous way.

I've been told to keep my remarks relatively brief. I understand Quayle-hunting season begins at noon.