I'm kind of a nervous guy. I know on television I look like I'm half asleep, but inside I'm going about 100 miles an hour.
People think I'm all calm, but underneath I'm not.
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
I've always had a duck personality. Calm above water, feet going crazy below.
It was like certain dinners I remember from the war. There was much wine, an ignored tension, and a feeling of things coming that you could not prevent happening. Under the wine I lost the disgusted feeling and was happy. It seemed they were all such nice people.
Farid had brought an invisible guest with him. Fear.
You know when something feels so good but you're afraid to feel good about it? So you kinda hold back? Everyone says, Congratulations, you must be so happy. And you say something stupid like, I'm just doing what little I can with what little I have.
I look placid, you see, that's why people think I'm fine. Inside I worry a lot.
Underneath that facade, I'm a terrified little sissy, just like everybody else. But I never let it show.
I think I'm most nervous about revealing how nervous I have always been. People think me calm, confident, poised. Inside I'm a jelly.
