Golf Criticism Quotes

Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.

Golf should be taken down and must not be played.

What earthly good is golf? Life is stern and life is earnest. We live in a practical age. All around us we see foreign competition making itself unpleasant. And we spend our time playing golf? What do we get out of it? Is golf any use? That's what I'm asking you. Can you name me a single case where devotion to this pestilential pastime has done a man any practical good?

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

Golf: A plague invented by the Calvinistic Scots as a punishment for man's sins.

[On golf:] One of the most distressing defects of civilization.

I never play golf because it takes too long, and the business connections it produces can be made just as easily over an early breakfast.

It's easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister's fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification.

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina.

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States.

Golf course architects make me sick. They can't play themselves, so they rig the courses so nobody else can play either.

Jim Murray's greatest writings were golf writings.

After Michael Jordan recently criticized President Obama's golf game, Obama responded by saying that Jordan should spend more time thinking about his basketball team, the Charlotte Hornets. Then Jordan said, 'Do you really want to talk about whose team got crushed this week?'

I hate whenever there's a social issue that comes up in golf and people in the mainstream media who hate golf and who've conjured up all these stereotypes of people who are in the sport, the way they tear it down... I resent it, and I'll defend golf and people in golf until my dying day.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

You know what the game of golf is, don't you? It's basketball for people who can't jump and chess for people who can't think.

Golf seems to be an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dog's out.

I can't stand golfing, I'm not a golfer. Can't do five hours of chasing a ball around a field.

Two birdies and a lot of bogeys doesn't really help. I say if you're going to do it, do it properly and be dreadful on all fronts.

The PGA Championship, last of the majors each year, might well be accustomed to having fun poked at it by the print press for being mired in August, but this isn't fair.