You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy.
Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, "Did you fall?" He said, "No, I'm tryin' to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket."
I was born serious and I have earned my bread making other people laugh.
I learned how to make jokes because I wanted to give people as much fun as they did, and I guess I did, too.
Humor is the shock absorber of life; it helps us take the blows.
Humor disarms people. They don't feel threatened.
I love stand-up more than anything, and I'm so happy to have found a way to use it in the show.
Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.
I always made people laugh, and everybody wanted me to sit at the table with them. I don't joke as much as I used to, but I can still be a little comedian every now and then.
I'm looking for something to laugh over. After long enough, your body just needs to keep the hydration. You can't keep crying it out.
The best point of my novels, I think, is their humor. I want to keep many my works humorous.
Even the people who do great jokes, [it's] always coming out of a very real place.
Justin Halpern tosses lightning bolts of laughter out of his pocket like he is shooting dice in a back alley. In one sweep of a paragraph, he ranges from hysterical to disgusting to touching--and does it all seamlessly. Sh*t My Dad Says is a really, really funny book.
I realized that I really enjoy writing comedy, and how important comedy is when you feel like total crap.
Since kindergarten, I was the shortest kid in class. They always put me toward the front in school pictures, because you couldn't see me if I was in the back. It was kind of funny.
I was always sort of a ham as a kid, just always wanting to entertain and to get people to laugh.
I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth.
I love the fact that I'm having an opportunity to make people laugh and you actually get to hear it.
To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
I figured if I could put together being funny about stuff and actual events, maybe I could do something that wasn't being done much. Because the reporters that I met out there were funny, and they had hilarious stories that just didn't fit in the AP/UPI/New York Times foreign-correspondent style. They couldn't use the things they had. But I could.
I don't want to pick a team. I want to make people laugh and hopefully bring some - be humorous about the human experience, you know, whether they're people of any stripes of life.
I like to respond with jokes and to keep it as light as possible.
Part of what I do comes from the fact that I don't know any jokes to tell. And when I do they're really flat and don't work.
Humor itself is a great disinfectant. It enables people to listen.
It doesn't feel like you're preaching, if you can say something in a joke.
