Divine Failure Quotes

Jesus don't walk on water no more; his feet leak.

If God, as some now say, is dead, He no doubt died of trying to find an equitable solution to the Arab-Jewish problem.

My feeling is, quite simply, that if there is a God, He has done such a bad job that he isn't worth discussing.

The Expulsion from Eden is an act of vindictive womanish spite; the Fall of Man, as recounted in the Bible, comes nearer to the Fall of God.

Look, I know you meant well creating the world and all, but how could you let it get away from you like this? How come you couldn't stick with your original idea of paradise? People's lives were a mess.

God very seldom succeeds. He has very nearly everything against him, of course.

Anybody who thinks there's nothing wrong with this world needs to have his head examined. Just when things are going all right, without fail someone or something will come along and spoil everything. Somebody should write that down as a fundamental law of the Universe. The principle of perpetual disappointment. If there is a God who created this world, he should scrap it and try again.

I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel.

On the 8th day, God created Mankind. Why was he having such a bad day? Why did he create all of you normal... but forget so many important parts of me?

Fear of God failing us leads us to "cover for God." This means we ask, expect, and are satisfied with less.

When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering.

The oracles are dumb, No voice or hideous hum Runs through the arched roof in words deceiving. Apollo from his shrine Can no more divine, With hollow shriek the steep of Delphos leaving. No nightly trance or breathed spell Inspires the pale-eyed priest from the prophetic cell.