One of the things I found as a dancer is that you're trying to perfect your body but also protect it and keep it injury-free. When you work against your own weight, you're still building lean muscle and bone density, but you're in a safer zone.
It was not until I had graduated from college that I made a professional commitment to it. Frankly, I didn't think it wise. I was my own interior parental force, and it's very difficult to justify a profession as a dancer.
As a dancer running around the world, I always questioned whether that's what I wanted to do.
I like my body. I don't want to have to change it for anything - even if that means I have to take a step down as a dancer. I don't think I'm ever going to sacrifice my figure for anyone else to accept me.
You have to have tunnel vision as a dancer to get to where you're going. But once you get there, you have to save yourself by spreading your horizons. It's the paradox of this profession. The very thing that makes you very good will destroy you.
The orthopaedic surgeon said that if ever I had hip or groin pain, I should rest until the pain went. However, resting is not part of a dancer's life - so I just danced through the pain.
The retirement timing is always a tricky thing for a dancer. I think it's different for everyone. How you say goodbye to the thing you have really focused on that much is a tough one. I've always intended to leave in good shape, to exit on a high note.
It's very difficult to switch back and forth between running rehearsals and then stepping in to dance in rehearsals as a dancer. Just to switch hats in an instant can be a little bit jarring, mostly physically, on the body.
