Corporate Speak Quotes

There are many bad things in this world of ours, but the use of the word 'monetize' has to rank high among them. Also, 'incentivize.' Actually, all the '-ize' words, like 'contextualize' and 'utilize' and 'prioritize.' And - this is almost too horrible to type - 'juniorize.'

A good many of the special words of business seem designed more to express the user's dreams than to express a precise meaning.

The company calls it 'downsizing' or 'rightsizing.' My own informal "Name the Layoff" contest produced some other euphemisms: Retroactive Hiring Freeze, Resume Revision Days, Amway Opportunity Time, and Corporation Lite.

Good first drafts and speedy responses to consumer dialog will always trump lawyered corporate speak.

Only in this town, where we make an industry out of creating euphemisms, can we have enough sugar to sugarcoat this nonsense.

Buzzwords and cliches - those are stock in trade. There's nothing wrong with them.

Everything isn't about synergy.

The best way to engage honestly with the marketplace via Twitter is to never use the words "engage," "honestly," or "marketplace."

Our business is infested with idiots who try to impress by using pretentious jargon.

Nothing stands for content-free corporate bullshit quite like PowerPoint. And that's just scratching the surface.

If you're talking about how you promoted synergy in an organization, that could mean you just got everybody together for donuts twice a week.