Anne Lamott Quotes

My children weary me. I can only see them as defective adults: feckless, destructive, frivolous, sensual, humorless.

I have a four year old and I'm telling you we did Nickelodeon last night and he embarrassed me. It was like one of those moments when I couldn't believe my kid is acting like this. I just had to just like walk away from him because he was really pushing my buttons.

I am an average mother in almost every way, so yes, much to my regret, I do yell at my children.

My kids were completely out of control, while I was working fifteen hours a day plus weekends. I screamed a lot, something I'm not particularly proud of, but it was that or firearms.

I love my kids, they are amazing children, but they drive me bananas sometimes. And sometimes, I want to sell them on eBay... but I'm not going to.

Being a parent can make you a horrible person at times, because you're pushed to the limit constantly.

I think it is important to say that though, of course, it is wonderful to have children, it is a disservice to others not to also say how hard it is to do it alone.

Taking a child to the toy store is the nearest thing to a death wish parents can have.

I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.

The more I read about feeding times, sleep times and waking-up times, the more inadequate and miserable I felt.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.

I have my own grown-up versions of temper tantrums, too. I have a hard time not getting hurt when my kids have meltdowns.

Bringing up children on my own was quite a busy time.

I've done bits where I've perhaps talked about my kids annoying me and you hope that the audience realise that you do actually love your children. You can still be a good parent and be frustrated by your kids.

It's very, very, very, very difficult, you know any parent with ­children with any kind of special needs is very difficult.

I'll never get sick of raising my children, but other people might get sick of them.

I sadly want a reform in the construction of children. Nature's only idea seems to be to make them machines for the production of incessant noise.

I'm a mother of three children, and we do make mistakes.

Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?

I conveniently forgot to remember that people only have two hands, or, as another parent once said of having a third child, it's time for a zone defense instead of man-to-man.

(About parenting:) ... all that tedium, broken up by little spurts of high drama.

bringing up children was]like living with a bunch of drunks...you really have to be on your toes all the time.

I’ve noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.

I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids.

Every minute with a child takes seven minutes off your life.