Iyanla Vanzant Quotes

I want to tell women that you need to love yourself and make yourself a priority. It's only when you are happy yourself, can you make everyone else around you happy. I am still a dreamer and still believe in fairy tales, but there is only that much one should give another person. You need to keep something for yourself.

We set the standard of how we want to be treated. Our relationships are reflections of the relationships we have with ourselves.

Until you divest yourself of the notion that you are a collection of needs, an empty vessel that someone else must fill up, there will be no safe place to harbor yourself, no safe shore to reach. As long as you think mostly of getting, you will have nothing real to give.

You can't beg from people what they're not willing to give you.

I admire how she protects her energy and understands her limitations.

I have a very good relationship with myself. My favourite quote is, "What you think about me is none of my business."

I wrote down all the things I would no longer accept in my life, all the things I would no longer tolerate, and all the things that I aspired to becoming.

You get what you give, but also what you're willing to take.

...some people aren't worth the trouble of being kind to, because they have neither the brains nor the power to make something for themselves out of your kindness.

If you begin to give away parts of yourself, eventually you'll give it all. And once you've lost yourself, haven't you lost everything?

I cannot be exacting because I respect myself.

As a young woman, I was so eager to please that I served others' happiness and even their values before my own. It didn't earn me love, but it did deliver me to a place where I had to choose between what I thought of myself and what other people did. I chose myself.

Self-acceptance begets acceptance from others, which begets even deeper, more genuine self-acceptance. It can be done. But no one is going to bestow it on you. It is a gift only you can give yourself.

You spend your life getting walked on, you learn to recognize the tread.

When you continue to give without receiving, the only thing you are proving is that you know how to be taken advantage of.

I used to care about how other people thought I led my life. But lately I've realized that most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to give anybody else even the scantiest of thoughts.

Many of us harbor hidden low self-esteem. We deem everything and everyone more important that ourselves and think that meeting their needs is more important than meeting our own. But if you run out of gas, everyone riding with you will be left stranded.

You don't owe anybody the present other than yourself. Take time for you. Respect yourself and your privacy. Set boundaries.

Are you balanced? Do you share your time, your energy, your life, as much with yourself as you do with those around you?. . . . Know your limits. You are one of the most important people you need to look after and love. Balance your time, your energy, your life with those around you. You'll be able to give more freely and joyfully as a result, and you'll be more open to the gifts of the universe. It's not wrong to give to others. But it's okay to say yes to ourselves, too.

Self-deprecation is not an answer to keeping one's balance. I think that it's very damaging.

I am not the means to any end others may wish to accomplish. I am not a tool for their use. I am not a servant of their needs. I am not a bandage for their wounds, I am not a sacrifice on their altars.

The best thing I ever did in my life was to ask, 'Do I like everybody?' And the answer was, 'No.' So why should everybody like me? If people are against me, so what? I'm against them too.

Give up as much as you're willing to receive back and give yourself, if that makes any sense. Whatever that is, don't expect more from a person than what you're willing to give, but give it knowing that you're giving it - it's been given, so don't expect anything else.

To whom much is given, much is expected. I do believe this. It's embedded in me.

I always ask myself, would I want someone to do something that wasn't comfortable for them just to please me? And the answer is no.