Laurence J. Peter Quotes

Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.

It's like turning the space program over to the Long Island Railroad.

You know you're a fool when what you're doing makes even the post office seem efficient.

These people were not even good burglars. They were bungelers.

There are going to be screw-ups, mistakes, confusion, and missteps. One hopes they won’t be fatal.

Incompetence is a better explanation than conspiracy in most human activity.

It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.

Problems always appear big when incompetent men are working on them.

Incompetency fed on itself.

Incompetents invariably make trouble for people other than themselves.

I am, it is safe to say, not a practical man. The few attempts I've made to hammer in a nail have ended in broken thumbs, burst pipes, and water spraying everywhere with the house on fire.

I was the worst hitter ever. I never even broke a bat until last year when I was backing out of the garage.

Two captains will sink the ship.

He is no more fit to handle the case than an ass is to play a harp.

Once I was hosting an important dinner party at our house - everything was perfect, candles were lit, the house smelled amazing with great food and drinks ready. We lit a fire and the flue wasn't able to open, unbeknownst to us. We smoked out the entire house and the fire department had to come - it was a mess.

I was fairly rubbish as a player.

I'm always doing everything backwards.

You put his brain in a bird, the bird would fly backwards" -Secret Life of the Bees

Disorganization can scarcely fail to result in efficiency.

I hate amateurs. I hate unprofessional people. There are enough people who can do jobs decently that there's no reason that people who cannot do them decently [should] pretend to be great at it.

I have no more pleasure in hearing a man attempting wit and failing, than in seeing a man trying to leap over a ditch and tumbling into it

Obscurity is the refuge of incompetence.

What is to be expected of them is not treachery, or physcial cowardice, but stupidity, unconscious sabotage, an infallible instinct for doing the wrong thing.

I spilled more times than a glass of milk on a roller coaster.

Being neurotic is like shooting fish in a barrel, and missing them.