Zach Anner Quotes

I'm always making a comeback but nobody ever tells me where I've been.

Comedy was my sport. It taught me how to roll with the punches. Failure is the exact same as success when it comes to comedy because it just keeps coming. It never stops.

I've always been able to laugh at myself.

If you can't laugh at yourself, you're cooked!

Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself.

What's the worst that can happen? If it doesn't do well I can put on my big girl panties, deal with it and move on.

Not everyone can be as successful a performer as myself, who gave 10 great performances the first time I ever did comedy, and then toiled in obscurity for years.

I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls, I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. I was so thin, I had to run around in the shower to get wet. That kind of thin. So I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm.

One thing that I am proud of: I am really capable of laughing at myself.

Comedy is incredibly hard. You have to be loose. You have to be not afraid to fail.

Save your rejections so that later when you are famous you can show them to people and laugh.

I'm not funny. What I am is brave.

Humor has bailed me out of more tight situations than I can think of. If you go with your instincts and keep your humor, creativity follows. With luck, success comes, too.

Scott Adams is not only a world-famous cartoonist, he's also a world-class failure. And he's the first to admit it. In his new book, 'How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big,' the Dilbert creator explains how failure can lead to success if you develop the right skills to make the most of your mistakes.

I'm the most successful bad player ever.

If people still trust me with a funny line, then that is fine. If that is what gets me work.

One of the great things about us Jews is that we tell the best jokes. Part of the reason is we tell jokes against ourselves - before anyone else gets to do it.

I'm a funny guy. You've got to be able to make fun of yourself. We only live once.

I'm the absolute worst at getting jobs, ever. I had 100 rejections before I landed one. I kept all the letters in a folder until I realized I could just chuck them away.

There's no denying it: I was a crappy baby who failed his way into this world, and I've been making the best of it ever since.

Racing is a funny industry. One week you can be going terrible and the next week you're on top of the world. So you just keep showing up: I keep working harder to get more opportunities, but what do you do - that's life.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

A motto I've adopted is, if at first you don't succeed, hide all evidence that you ever tried.

I'm a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It's amazing I'm here at all.

Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength.