Terry Pratchett Quotes

The cat is the only non-gregarious domestic animal. It is retained by its extra-ordinary adhesion to the comforts of the house in which it is reared.

Sophistry is the fallacy of argument.

His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.

I found him in a Dumpster one day when he was a kitten and he promptly adopted me. Despite my struggles, Mister had been an understanding soul, and I eventually came to realize that I was a part of his little family, and by his gracious consent was allowed to remain in his apartment. Cats. Go figure.

Logic might be unanswerable because it was so absolutely wrong.

The cat is a wild animal that inhabits the homes of humans.

As far as pets go, a cat is a nice on to have.

I have just been given a very engaging Persian kitten... and his opinion is that I have been given to him.

I recently bought a cat, but took it back a day later because our personalities clashed.

How it chanced that a man who reasoned on his premises so ably, should assume his premises so foolishly, is one of the great mysteries of human nature.

My cat did that the other day when he came in from the garden.

To expect reason is where the fallacy lies.

A garden without cats, it will be generally agreed, can scarcely deserve to be called a garden at all.

People who don't like cats haven't been around them. There's the old joke: dogs have masters, cats have staff.

You can keep a dog: but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.

Philosophy is an unusually ingenious attempt to think fallaciously.

When people ask me what on earth I want to keep two cats for I tell them I keep them to do my resting for me.

Cats aren't special advisers. They advise us all the time, whether we want them to or no.

You know how it is with cats: They don't really have owners, they have staff.

The trouble with sharing one's bed with cats is that they'd rather sleep on you than beside you.

You always ought to have tom cats arranged, you know - it makes 'em more companionable.

I get asked a lot why cats mess outside the litter box. The simplest thing is if you have more than one cat and you have two litter boxes, don't put them right next to each other.

A garden without cats, it will be generally agreed, can scarcely deserve to be called a garden at all...much of the magic of the heather beds would vanish if, as we bent over them, there was no chance that we might hear a faint rustle among the blossoms, and find ourselves staring into a pair of sleepy green eyes.

A man who owns a dog is, in every sense of the words, its master; the term expresses accurately their mutual relations. But it is ridiculous when applied to the limited possession of a cat.

I used to have a cat, an old fighting tom, who would jump through the open window by my bed in the middle of the night and land on my chest. I'd half-awaken. He'd stick his skull under my nose and purr, stinking of urine and blood. Some nights he kneaded my bare chest with his front paws, powerfully, arching his back, as if sharpening his claws, or pummeling a mother for milk. And some mornings I'd wake in daylight to find my body covered with paw prints in blood; I looked as though I'd been painted with roses.