Michael Beasley Quotes

People don't mind insulting the tall. We're supposed to be fine with being awkward and skinny. I'm very easy to psychoanalyse. I was a gangly, awkward teenager who could make people laugh and thought that was a way to be socially more comfortable.

You get into comedy because you are insecure, and you communicate with the world through comedy to sort of alleviate the tension of those insecurities and to find a way to make people like you other than the way you look or how good you are at sports. I don't think that really goes away.

People's perceptions of me have nothing to do with reality. I'm basically just your average dork.

All you have to do is say, 'I'm going home,' and you're the most popular girl at the party.

I remember feeling all right with myself until age 13. Then, I was getting off the bus one day and this guy called me Miss Piggy. That was the first time I ever really felt like I wasn't okay.

I am very harsh on myself. I can point out a list. My nose is very strange. I have a very round face. I sound so ungrateful. Obviously I'm being hard on myself. Whether it's body dysmorphia, or whatever it is, I can always find something wrong.

When somebody says something bad about you, they feel bad about themselves in some way.

Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time.

They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.

Remember, I'm the kind of kid who used to get stuffed into a locker by school bullies. I've never felt like I'm a big star at any level of my life.

Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity.

I am literally smaller than life. I am an unextraordinary-looking person. I've seen people trying to hide their disappointment when they meet me, and I have to watch them get over it.

I find it to be the ultimate backhanded compliment when you are compared against yourself.

I'm not as smart or talented as anyone around me. But they like me.

I always thought everybody else was better than me.

The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life.

I'm one of the most insecure people in the world, always have been, and when you're a fat kid, you try to make the fat jokes before other people make them.

I never got picked on, but I never had a lot of friends. When I talked to my parents about it, they said, 'They're just jealous because you're beautiful and talented.' It was probably one of the worst things they could have told me, because I became self-conscious.

I was the hallway clown in high school.

When you grew up like me and my four brothers, you end up feeling somewhat inadequate, like somehow you don't count.

In school I was always the funny-looking, tall, skinny kid that got made fun of because of my weird teeth.

All my life people have made fun of me because I was so skinny. They kind of made me feel bad about it sometimes. I worried that maybe people will think I am really anorexic.

I made fun of myself before everybody else could, so I always got the comic crowns: Freshman Fink, Sophomore Fairy, Junior Birdman. I got all three of them!

At any rate, your contempt for your fellow human beings does not prevent you ... from trying to win their respect.

The popular girls let me hang out with them because I was funny. They told me that. 'You're not popular, but you're funny.' Now all my friends are funny.