Janette Rallison Quotes

I feel as if things are falling apart within me, like so many glass partitions shattering. I walk from place to place in the grip of a fury, needing to act, yet can do nothing about it because any attempt seems doomed in advance. Failure, everywhere failure. Only suicide hovers above me, gleaming and inaccessible.

I am in that temper that if I were under water I would scarcely kick to come to the top.

It got to a point where I didn't care if I lived or I died.

From January to December of 2019, I crumbled, to be real, and I think by the end of 2019 I had beaten myself up in every possible way to the point where I wasn't even a person. I was fully at rock bottom.

I pull my lower lip all the way in between my teeth. If I try hard enough, maybe I can gobble my whole self this way.... I didn't try hard enough to swallow myself.

No mat­ter how much I try and hide this, bit by bit, I start to fall apart.

Everything mattered and nothing did, and I was tired of trying to find out how both of those things were true. I was an itch that I'd scratched so hard I was bleeding. I had set out to do the impossible, whatever the impossible might be, only to find out that it was living with myself. Suicide became an expiration date, the day after which I no longer had to try.

Oh! Stars and clouds and winds, ye are all about to mock me; if ye really pity me, crush sensation and memory; let me become as nought; but if not, depart, depart, and leave me in darkness.

Oh darkness, I feel like letting go.

She could not trust herself to hope—but without hope, she realized, she had no reason to go on.

And so I leave this world, where the heart must either break or turn to lead (suicide note)

Her mind was all disorder. The past, present, future, every thing was terrible.

Well, I did know - but I just wanted the day to pass and the next day to come and then I wanted that one to pass. It was a horrible cycle. I felt so close to having to pack the game in.

My sweetest hope is to lose hope.

When one realizes that his life is worthless he either commits suicide or travels.

Melancholy and sadness are the start of doubt... doubt is the beginning of despair; despair is the cruel beginning of the differing degrees of wickedness.

I voluntarily inflicted a certain level of insanity on myself.

I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me.

Our family has gone through a very difficult time. My husband and I have taken the brunt of it. I've never known what it truly felt like to be so sad and desperate inside.

I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead.

It's curious how we act in moments of personal despair.

If it's just the same with you, Mr. President, I'd like to lie down and die.

I wasn't gonna make it. I had come to terms that I was gonna die, and I was very sure of that.

Did I pray for death? I did one time. I wanted to die so badly. And I didn't want to die. I wanted to rest, you know. And I knew the only rest I would find is in death.

It got to a point where I didn't care... about living at all.