Gary Larson Quotes

The whole campaign was a tragic case of mistaken identity.

Sometimes when I'm on the phone, someone will say, 'Yes, Mr. Yeoh.' And I'm thinking, 'I'm not Mr. Yeoh, man.'

People confuse me with Gateway.

Do you remember when Fabio got hit in the face with a pigeon on the roller coaster, and it broke his nose? Sometimes I feel like I'm the pigeon, and the Internet is Fabio's face. Actually, I don't know if I'm the pigeon, or I'm Fabio's face. Depends on the day, I guess.

When I was a freshman at Yale, one teacher brought me up after class and said, 'You're trying to undermine my class.' And I thought to myself, 'Oh my God, I'm going to be kicked out of school on the first week.' Not only do I not have a sense of self, I don't even know what she's talking about. I don't even know how to undermine anything.

Everywhere I go, people think I'm Helen Hunt.

I get recognized all the time, but not as Haley Bennett.

P. Diddy gave me his valet ticket once... because he thought I was the valet lady.

Everyone I dated was gay.

On the street, I get either 'Are you the Red Viper?' or 'Are you Javier Pena?'

Sometimes people come to my standup show, and they think they're going to see Doug Wilson. Or they see me on the street, and they call me Doug Wilson.

Throughout my career, people have totally confused 'Laguna Beach' and 'The O.C.' I think, in people's minds, it all kind of got blurred over time.

Stupidity is a talent for misconception.

I did not expect to encounter what has beset me since my elevation to the presidency. God knows, I have endeavored to fulfill what I considered to be an honest duty, but I have been mistaken; my motives have been misconstrued and my feelings grossly betrayed.

Because I'm a bald, dim-witted writer, people think I couldn't possibly be her husband, so they occasionally confuse me for someone more glamorous. At O'Hare airport, a man asked if he could take Rebecca's photo. When I reflexively stepped away, he said, 'No, no, no. I want your picture too, Andre Agassi.'

When I lived in New York, never in my life had I been more mistaken for another than David Chang.

My own son called me Eddie Murphy's brother once. Once.

I love the idea of being on stage and people thinking they know who Michael Ball is, they've got an image and then not knowing and going: who's that? I mean, that's the best compliment ever.

I'm always getting confused with LeBron James. Everywhere I go, I'm LeBron James.

I did a radio interview; the DJ's first question was "Who are you?" I had to think. Is this guy really deep, or did I drive to the wrong station?

You're not that girl,' Cole said, sounding tired. 'Trust me, I've seen enough of them to know. Look. Don't cry. You're not that girl either.' 'Oh yeah? What girl am I?' 'I'll let you know when I figure it out. Just don't cry.

Often when we think we are knotting one thread, we are tying quite another.

It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.

My life had taken a stranger turn than I could've ever imagined. What was I doing on this path? Where was I headed really? Who was I to take on a battle between powers I didn't understand— armed with a runaway cat, a uniquely bad drummer, a pair of garden shears, and an Ovaltine-drinking teen Galileo? To save a girl who didn't want to be saved?