Alan Zweibel Quotes

I'm pretty grounded on my own passion - writing books, you know, doing programs, speaking around the country. And I love what I do.

I'm always curious about anyone who has enough passion to go onstage and say, 'This is what I'm really passionate about.' It's always worth listening to.

I guess I was the class clown - with a name like Albert Einstein, you don't hide in the back. I'd read the school bulletin to the class, and I'd add activities and make stuff up. It was good, a good 10 minutes every morning.

I think the theater is where you stand up, and you say, 'Here is what I have to offer.'

Chappelle is incredible. He is comfy on stage and he talks about big things and small things. He's a version of himself. That's what I've always wanted to be and hopefully I still am.

The biggest impact that acting and theater had was, of course, stage presence, but it also had a big impact on my writing.

I'm not those kind of persons that's afraid to be on radio or TV, you know? I'm always the same.

I wasn't a class clown, I just found at an early age that I was able to make people laugh. So I mostly wrote funny stuff instead of writing what I was supposed to be writing.

I do public appearances. I'm bluff, hearty, goofy. I wear loud clothes, and I read the funny bits. I occasionally get taken to task for one thing or another, and I acknowledge my fault, my flaw, my failure, and I move on.

Writing is showbusiness for shy people. That's how I see it.

Anybody, providing he knows how to be amusing, has the right to talk about himself.

In fifth grade, we had to write a story and read it in front of the class. When I read mine out, the class were just belly laughing. And I remember being like, 'This is the coolest!' So I want to dedicate my life to trying to make people laugh. I can't imagine doing anything else.

When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs.

I'm a musician first, a food-lover second, a dirty mouth with feet, and a girl last time I checked.

I still do standup.

The beauty of me being on stage is I have a voice.

When I was a little kid, no matter what my parents told me, I would always argue - even if I agreed with them. And I've always been a show-off. As I've gotten older, I've found ways to be more subtle about it, but that's the way I am. I suppose that has something to do with why I write and direct.

I love my lecture tours. I get up onstage. I have my stack of books and a glass of water and a microphone. No podium, no distance between me and the audience, and I just talk to people and get all excited and tell a lot of jokes, and sing some songs, and read from my work and remind people how powerful they are and how beautiful they are.

I always had the idea that I wanted to perform. I love being the center of attention - and I always love talking about myself.

A book tour is not a good opportunity to let your mind wander. You have to pay attention, remember salespeople's and interviewers' names, succinctly summarize your book in a 'selling' way, and so on.

I was a very imaginative and theatrical child and wasn't afraid of being in front of a camera.

I was never really a writer, I was always more of a performer.

In the theater, characters have to cut the umbilical cord from the writer and talk in their own voices.

I've always been super expressive, and I've always liked to express myself any way I can.

I enjoy my public speaking. That's what I love doing. It's what I'm good at.