Melody Beattie Quotes

I don't punish myself. Life's too short.

You have to be reasonable with yourself and not feel guilty when things aren't perfect.

Self-hatred is OK. I have self-hatred, too. It's OK. What's bad is if you don't know how to get out of it, don't know how to manage it. Self-hatred is, in fact, a good thing if you can clearly see the mechanism of it, because it helps you to understand others.

Being self-critical is good; being self-hating is destructive. There's a very fine line there somewhere, and I walk it carefully.

I got to start limiting the hits I take on myself.

If some things don't make me feel good, I stop them. How simple, yet so hard to do.

Somebody once told me that self-punishment is worse than any other punishment.

If someone decides they're not going to be happy, it's not your problem. You don't have to spend your time and energy trying to cheer up someone who has already decided to stay in a bad mood. Believe it or not, you can actually hurt people by playing into their self-pity.

For me, when I go to bed at night, I am happy that I haven't hurt someone. And if I think I have, I will rectify it. I now refuse to give someone permission to make me feel bad about myself. They can't make me feel bad about myself if I don't allow it.

Depression is a surfeit of empathy - a killing empathy - that makes depressives great friends to everyone but themselves. Having a self is a rough business, and depressives can empathize with others who have to deal with it, but not with themselves.

I've learned to set boundaries and know when to say, 'I just need to rest.' I'm good at listening to what my body's telling me.

After many years of self-flagellation, I've realised that beating myself up doesn't get me anywhere.

I can live with myself.

I was so self-critical. I still am, but it's not as bad anymore.

Dedicating some time to meditation is a meaningful expression of caring for yourself that can help you move through the mire of feeling unworthy of recovery. As your mind grows quieter and more spacious, you can begin to see self-defeating thought patterns for what they are, and open up to other, more positive options.

A lot of the problems I had with fame I was bringing on myself. A lot of self-loathing, a lot of woe-is-me. Now I'm learning to see the positive side of things, instead of, like, 'I can't go to Kmart. I can't take my kids to the haunted house.'

The greatest gift that you can give yourself is a little bit of your own attention.

I've also learned to no longer feel guilty if I'm invited out and don't want to go. If I start to say to myself, 'What's wrong with you that you're staying in five nights in a row to watch 'Forensic Files' instead of going out with your friends' I remind myself that it's what I need to do for myself at that point.

Now I look back and think if I'd spent more time enjoying myself instead of crying into my pillow over men, my 20s would have been fabulous!

Self-love seems so often unrequited.

I actually like, love, and respect myself, and I try not to take anything too seriously.

It seems to me that everyone on this planet whom I know or have worked with is suffering from self-hatred and guilt to one degree or another. The more self-hatred and guilt we have, the less our lives work. The less self-hatred and guilt we have, the better our lives work, on all levels.

You can look in the mirror and find a million things wrong with yourself. Or you can look in the mirror and think, 'I feel good, I have my health, and I'm so blessed.' That's the way I choose to look at it.

I don't think I can be too hard on myself.

Everybody has their demons that they face, and I went through a time when I thought it was impossible to love myself.